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“Joy is what happens
to us when we allow ourselves to recognise how good things really are.”
Marianne Williamson
If you were to ask me how I was, I would probably sigh.
I am
relieved.
I have endured a month
of too many appointments, and weariness from being a vulnerable patient too
many times. I have been ill from hour long waits at doctor surgeries, saddened
by coolness and misunderstanding in medics, and exhausted from leaving my safe
little home, the one place I have a chance of surviving in. The ironic truth is
that I am ill from seeing my medics. I am always learning how better to manage
my life, and going to these doctors just after I moved house was not my wisest
plan. Sadness has been all pervasive - the greyness that robs every usually-fun
moment of its fun.
My great relief comes not just from getting to stay home,
but from feeling little bits of joy again, of happiness, or pleasure, or humour,
where before it was entirely bleak. I am enjoying relief, savouring it, and
remembering for future that it always comes.
“There is nothing like staying at home for real comfort.”
Jane Austen
Although I would rather enjoy my home in moderation i.e. on
the weekend and in the evening, I think Austen is perfectly right. My home is a
beautiful, comfy, cosy, restful, safe haven. To view it like that rather than
my prison changes everything.
Flannelette jamies have been really doing it for me lately. Who knew $11 spent at kmart could make for such snuggy appreciation.
“Change your thoughts and you change your world.”
Normal Peale
“Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of
the overcoming of it.”
Helen Keller
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